books

I like reading books.

Books about love. Books about life. Books about adventures. Books about good and evil.

Mostly because I don't have a ton of that in my life right now. I'm in a loveless, lifeless, adventurous time of my life. But I'm not in a sad time of my life.

I haven't really felt sadness in a while, and that makes me feel... empty. I remember senior year of high school when everything was drama and sadness and girls and more drama. I definitely don't miss drama, but I do miss the sadness that came along with it. I didn't have a lot of purpose or happiness in those days, but I did have sadness. And that sadness is what kept me from going insane with boredom. Numbness.

Right now I'm feeling pretty numb. I making some of the most important decisions in my life right now, and that should at least be a little scary, right? But it's not. I'm totally fine. I actually find myself hoping something disastrous would happen to ME, not anyone close to me, but me. I'm bored with life. Not sad in life, just bored.

I miss the summertime. I want to be able to go for a walk without having to be wrapped in a bunch of layers. Can I just be outside in my tanktop and feel the air?

I want to marvel at something.

I'm not blaming the universe for being boring, I'm blaming myself for not being able to see the interesting things life has to offer.

I dunno. Just thought this needed to be said.